Convenient Morals

By Anju Makin

What's happening with people and morality nowadays? Seems to me, they spell it like c-o-n-v-e-n-i-e-n-c-e. The buzzword for bedding anyone now is ‘fondness’. You just need to be fond of the other person to make out. Toe-dipping into relationships is so “in”. In fact, relationship is a big word for these alliances that get made and broken with alarming convenience - that word again!

A sample scenario in a typical MNC runs like this: Mrs Mehta is involved with Mr. Pande who in turn is also eyeing the new joinee Mrs Bhatnagar, while Ms Mathur can be treated a likely prospect. However, the non-married (and some married ones also) people create just too much hassles hankering for love, commitment, marriage and God knows where they will stop. It’s much better to stick with the tried and tested Mrs. Mehta who doesn’t demand much, just as much as she gets.

Everything happens for a reason: let’s get closer; we were destined to meet… so on and so forth. Some of the cheesy pick-up lines are uttered with amazing poise. The problem is that this malaise is no longer restricted to the diseased nouveau riche sections of the society. It is now threatening to infect the ever fragile urban middle class which is a torchbearer in any social milieu.

Let’s not blame only the workplace scenarios and equal opportunity for women for this. I guess there were fragile marriages earlier as well, but now people who take advantage of the fissures in these marriages are more accessible and come packaged in neat clothes, mouthing niceties with alarming ease. Smooth is the word for them.

In the 2000-flat society that we stay in Gurgaon, 75% residents work in call centres that are mushrooming in this part of NCR. Of these, 70% are living-in together. In the flat opposite ours, a call centre executive stayed for two years. Over the two years, he lived with four girl-friends over various time periods. Finally, he got married to a girl from his hometown, arranged by his parents. We have been witness to his grieving girlfriends many times, except when his parents visited they were hushed under the carpet. After that, two girls came and stayed with two boys for six months. After this, we have lost count or interest. In fact, everyone now treats this as a common scenario. It might have shocked frumpy aunties earlier but with time things are getting acceptable. We all behave like pigeons. If it’s not happening in my home, I am not concerned. That’s the common mentality all over India.

Some time ago, New York Times ran a feature on ‘FWB’ (Friends with benefits) -alliances prevalent amongst university students, wherein you have an intimate relationship with friends with no strings attached as per each other’s convenience. The article was based on research done within the students’ community by a well-known and reputed research firm. The FWBs are here now.

India seems to be not only developing in economy but also in ethics degradation. Wonder where this will lead to? Is it about men and women? I don’t know. Why do women put up with people who are clearly not faithful? How can any self-respecting woman stay with someone they don’t love or who doesn’t love them but just wants to get closer? Don‘t they fall in love but practice nonchalance as they don’t want to risk losing their boyfriends, better to share them instead! I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I hope someone out there does. If you do, let me know.

anjumakin@gmail.com

Single in a Hotel

Read Advaita Kala’s ‘Almost Single’ over the weekend. It is well written and can be called a page turner in the loosest sense of the word. But still, you would come away with an unfulfilled feeling, an incomplete experience, so to say.

First of all, the author needs to understand that writing under pseudonym on any industry is a no-no. You get caught in many ways. The way author has described the workings of a guest relation officer in a hotel industry leaves much to be desired.

She has rolled in jobs of receptionist, concierge, banquets, lobby manager and cash desk into an all-in-one guest relations executive (GRE) profile depending on her convenience. A GRE does not handle lobby activities in a five star hotel, a lobby manager does. Neither does she handle wedding preparations, however important the guest is. No self-respecting banquet manager would let a GRE step on his toes! Neither does she exchange money, even if it is for a prominent Pakistani cricketer. The hotel operators are definitely not termed ‘bitches on switches’, neither do they behave like ones. And eavesdropping on conversations will get them a pink slip in less than 5 minutes in any hotel. And these are just a few instances!

Apart from this, there are discrepancies in the lifestyle followed by the protagonist. One can’t afford regular Sunday brunches in hotels and frequent night outs in clubs on a GRE’s salary, however loose the purse strings of friends are! And there are just too many coincidences throwing the hero and heroine together, but I guess it is necessary to keep the story moving.

Advaita has given very interesting shades to her characters, more to add color to her book than for any other reason. Most hotel girls I know, and I know quite a few, don’t belong to the category she has created for them – smoking and boozing with abandon. Perhaps 2% girls would belong to this category. The rest are thorough professionals, trained for the job in the umpteen mushrooming hotel management institutes across India trying to earn an honest day’s living.

All in all, do read the book but please don’t get carried away by descriptions stereotyping the hotel industry and its women professionals. In the real world, they are not so.

The book review has been written by one my close buddies, Anju Makin. You can reach her at anjumakin@gmail.com.